Day 55 - On a Lighter Note. Jk.

This is never a good idea/thought: "Hey! I'm tired. I should scroll through Facebook on my phone before I go to sleep."

I had this idea tonight, and immediately regretted it.

On a friend of a friend's Facebook page, I saw an article titled, Walmart Caught Sponsoring Shocking Events That Will Anger Countless Customers." Don't Google it, it will infuriate you. Something about the title made me think that it wasn't going to be about the typical offenses such as labor abuse, and my inkling was correct. It was an article blasting Walmart for sponsoring a "hedonistic public display" at a recent gay pride parade.

I immediately felt nauseated, and knew that I should stop reading, but a morbid curiosity took hold of me and I finished the article. Worst of all were the trail of comments below, condemning Walmart and vowing to never shop there again. This upset me on so many levels. Worker exploitation won't stop people from getting their roll-back prices, but a rainbow float will?!

Because most of my Facebook friends are from the Bay Area/young/socially liberal, I rarely am exposed to this type of discourse. I've gotten so comfortable in my bubble, that I almost forget how much hate against people who are "different" (relative) still exists in this country.

As I lay in bed, still feeling sick after reading the article, I started to wonder why I care so much. I've never felt so strongly or so passionately about something that doesn't directly affect me. But then I realized that just because I'm not gay, doesn't mean that this existing social injustice doesn't directly affect me. It directly affects my family and my friends, therefore it affects me. It also affects me as a human being who witnesses first hand the struggles of other human beings, just trying to live a happy, loving life. Any basic human right not afforded to a subset of the population affects the entire population negatively.

As someone who was bullied as a child, I know how hurtful words can be. While I may not have experienced it on anywhere near the same level, I know a little about how hard it is to be different. I know what it's like to try to change who you are just so you can blend in. Although if I could go back in time and talk to awkward, nerdy, 13 year old Lorraine, I would have told her that it would be OK. That those bizarre quirks that make you an outcast now, will actually come across as endearing one day.

To see others bullied and shunned for being who they are, when who they are is absolutely fabulous, is the most gut-wrenching thing to witness. It takes a complete lack of empathy to sit on a high horse and tell others that they can't live their lives like everyone else does. It hurts me to the core to see people so actively and hatefully doing this.

I'm mostly writing this because I need to vent. Because after I read that article I felt physically ill. Before I started writing, I lay in bed reciting in my head, "There will always be hate. There will always be hate..." Reminding myself that hate is something that will always exist in the world. However, I also reminded myself that there is hope. In this one respect - gay rights - the world will continue to move in the right direction. As backwards as America can be sometimes, the world still shines a spotlight on us. It pays attention to our politics and our gossip, whether it's to mock us, scoff at us or to applaud us. One way or another, the world watches and the world cares. Now that we've finally taken a solid step in the right direction, others in the world will hopefully follow suit (I am of course aware that many countries have already beaten us to it). There's hope in that - hope that there can and will be progress towards what is inevitably right. And while there will always be hate, there can always be less of it.