Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 34

Another question all the way from New York!

Dear Bubbles, 
Are you the catnapping kind? How do you resist the urge for an afternoon snooze considering everything that needs to get done in a day?
- Quaran-T in New York City

Dear Quaran-T,

Resist the urge? I've never in my life done such a thing about anything. When I want to sleep, I sleep. When I want to eat, I eat.

This theme has come up a few times with the humans: a need to work, even when they don't want to. As I've stated in a previous post, I am optimally productive, and amazingly efficient with my day. I believe that this is because of my napping, not in spite of it. Humans spend more time worrying about things than actually doing them. I think they need to just decide to nap, and then decide to work. I bet you if you added up the amount of time you sit, unproductively wishing you could sleep, it would add up to a solid nap time. And if you'd allowed yourself that snooze, you'd wake up feeling energized and ready to chase some ghosts!

That's a wrap - time to nap!

XOXO,
Bubbles

Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 33

I see the humans on their clicky boxes all day. I watch them pace around the house with so much excess energy. I can tell they want to go outside - they want to be outdoor humans again.

I say, "then go, human! Be free! I'm not keeping you in here!" Every time I open up and express myself, they just laugh. That wasn't my intention, but at least I made them smile...

The humans sometimes talk about when they'll be let outside again. I wonder if they'll let me out with them when that day comes.

Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 32

Today's letter is from another fellow Feline, Roger.

Dear Bubbles,
You like stinky fish, and you do not get tired of it. I like stinky fish too, but not all the time. If I get it one time, I get it at least two more times. Then it’s not appetizing at all. I wish I had something different at every meal. I notice that the humans have something different at every meal. (What they eat is disgusting, though. It’s mostly plants and other weird stuff, but no meat!) Anyway, how can I get them to give me something different at each meal? Another thing, why won’t they use my real name? My real name is Roger, but they call me Hodge. Maybe the real issue is that I do not get enough respect.
- Roger in San Francisco

Dear Roger,

Thank you for bringing up this very valid and very real issue. While I like stinky fish more than just about anything, I would love a little more variety myself. The humans always say "there's plenty of fish in the sea," but they seem to forget that when they're at the stinky fish store! There's more fish than just tuna, humans! I'd like a bit of salmon now and again. Or maybe even some Mahi Mahi.

Yes Roger, I think it comes down to respect. Have you pushed a cup off the table recently? If not, I advise that you do so as soon as possible. I also advise throwing up on a few soft surfaces. This usually asserts dominance and reminds them who's in charge. It'll also indicate that you're sick of the current food, and ready for a change.

In terms of your name, I unfortunately don't know what to tell you. Bubbles is actually my middle name. My full name is Pikachu Bubbles Holdenstern. I never expressed that I'd prefer to be called by my middle name, yet when I confront them, they laugh at me. Sometimes I think the humans don't even try to understand us...

I hope this helps. Please keep me updated, as I'm currently going through the same assertive techniques with my humans. I'm curious to see if the training works on different humans.

XOXO,

Bubbles

Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 31

Today's question is from another feline. Glad to see I'm gaining popularity among my own species!

Dear Bubbles,

A new cat has recently wandered into my house. The humans are acting weird and keep her behind a closed door, but I can smell her. I’m upset and confused. Are they going to like her more than me? I sit by the door everyday and hiss, but that seems to make the humans mad. Cat to cat, what should I do in this situation?

- Foxy in New York

Dear Foxy,

That sounds rough. I'm sorry you have to share your confined indoor space with a mysterious outdoor cat. While the situation may be uncomfortable and uncertain, I'd recommend trying to make the most of it. If the humans are keeping her behind a closed door then they must recognize that this other cat's presence upsets you. It's likely they are trying to keep the peace as much as possible. Take advantage of this! Act a little more aloof than normal, nap in hidden places, and turn your nose up at your food on occasion. This will worry the humans and they will likely pay more attention to you. Humans are curious creatures - the more you ignore them, the more they become interested in you. It's almost cat-like. Sometimes I think they might even have souls.

I hope this helps. Please keep me updated on the situation.

XOXO,

Bubbles

P.S. Foxy sent a photo of herself, which I included below. Please don't be too disappointed that it's not a photo of me. It really was such a pleasure hearing from Foxy. If she's so inclined to keep in touch, I'd be delighted. 

Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 30

Today's question is from Zach in San Jose.

Bubbles, 
How do you maintain your sanity while having to remain indoors with the humans for so long, especially the "noisy one"?
- Zach in San Jose

 Dear Zach,

Before the humans were indoor humans, I had the whole house to myself during the day. I would nap on the couch, on the table, wherever I wanted.

These days things are different: the humans are in most of my nap spaces during the day, so I've had to find new ones. Often times the humans encroach on my new spaces, and I don't get adequate sleep. I've expressed my discontent with the situation, but they just laugh at me and call me whiny!

Quite honestly, Zach, it's difficult. Cats need their independence, and they need space. I've just been taking it day by day and trying to find joy in little things (like the fact that I do get extra pets since they're here all the time). I remind myself that everything is temporary, and that I'm especially good at escaping if the need presents itself.

XOXO,
Bubbles

Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 29

I walked by the window in the nap chamber today when something caught my eye - it was the handsome black cat I'd met weeks ago. He seemed a little sad today, and less engaged. Maybe he sensed that I wasn't really in a good mood myself. 

Even though our meeting was calmer this time (the sparks weren't flying quite as high) there was an implicit understanding. There was a warmth and a comfort in the calmness of our meeting. I didn't need to be anything or anyone that I didn't want to be. He just sat there with me, the real me, without judgement or expectation. 

I hope someday we can meet without this glass between us. I feel a strong urge to get to know him better.

Diary of a Quarantined Cat: Day 28

Today's question is from Cat Lover in San Francisco. Love the alias!

Dear Bubbles,
I would love to get another cat but my husband doesn’t want one. Any suggestions on how to change his mind?
- Cat Lover in San Francisco

Dear Cat Lover in San Francisco,

I'm sorry to hear that your husband doesn't appreciate the majestic beauty and stoic companionship of a feline. Is he a dog lover? I've heard those afflicted with dog-loving often don't understand the nuanced, complex affection of a cat.

Too often cats are dismissed as the "easier" pet. Humans coldly measure our love against a dog's love in a cost-benefit analysis; they say that while we may not give as much unconditional love (benefit), the effort that goes into taking care of a cat is minimal (cost).

Why do humans view the energy of a dog as superior to the energy of a cat? Doesn't the need to earn something make it more valuable? If a dog's love isn't earned, doesn't that cheapen it?

I think your husband needs to meet my friend, Peter. I'm sure Peter owns at least 5 cats (he seems like a 5 cats kind of guy), but he still finds time to come over and give me pets. I'm sure he could convince your foolish husband of the shockingly unapparent truth that a cat's love is priceless.

Hope that helps.

XOXO,
Bubbles